The Trials of Ryuuzaki Sakuno
by Solosorca
Summary: Ryoma needs a girlfriend. Sadly, this isn't a shojo manga.
1. Chapter 1

"Ryuzaki, you're a girl."

Sakuno had no idea how to respond to that. She was indeed a girl, but had no idea why Ryoma was pointing that out in the middle of their English lesson looking as though he'd just had the greatest revelation known to man.

"I-I am," she managed to stutter back, her brain spinning.

"Echizen! Ryuzaki! Stop talking!" The teacher snapped and Sakuno quickly looked back at her English textbook.

"Meet me on the roof at lunch," Ryoma whispered before turning back to his own book, his face back to its usual bored expression.

Sakuno felt the blood rush to her face. There were usually very few people on the roof- a perfect spot for a private conversation!

Is he going to… The words in front of her blurred as her mind raced off to the roof where Ryoma was waiting for her, surrounded by sakura blossoms.

She glanced over at him. He'd disappeared off to America for two years after their first year of middle school and then, without a word to anyone, reappeared for their first year of high school. America hadn't changed him much -he was still as aloof as ever- but he was much more handsome now, his face becoming much sharper and striking. And taller, where once he was the shortest of the regulars, he was now somewhere in the middle of the group.

And, of course, Sakuno's crush had returned full force when she'd walked into her classroom at the start of term and there was Ryoma sat at his desk, flicking boredly through a tennis magazine. She'd thought that she'd never see him again other than on TV when he inevitably took the tennis world by storm so her crush had faded away, turning into regret that she'd never been brave enough to say anything (although, she doubted that had she done so that Ryoma would have stayed for her- the pull of tennis was too strong).

She hadn't talked much to him since his return, other than greetings in the morning and goodbyes in the afternoon. Her shyness seemed to come back tenfold whenever he was near her, turning her into a stammering, blushing mess. It was pathetic really…

What are you going to do if he confesses to you?! She thought, feeling her chest tighten in panic and excitement. Of course she would accept, but whether she'd be able to get the words out was another thing.

She barely noticed the lesson ending until she realised that Ryoma has disappeared off to the roof and she should head up there now.

Should I see if my hair's okay? The thought sauntered through her mind as she headed in the direction of the stairs. I think I've still got that lip gloss I borrowed from Tomo-chan in my bag…

Calm down, she told herself firmly as she reached the bottom of the stairs and began to climb. On her way up she met Tezuka-buchou coming down, he gave her a somewhat curious look before giving her a nod of acknowledgement which she returned rather nervously. There had always been something about Tezuka-buchou that made her a bit nervous, it always seemed like he could see right through her.

She scampered up the rest of the stairs and was soon standing in front of the door. She took a deep breath and pushed it open.

Ryoma was waiting by the netting around the edge of the roof, as she approached she could see that he was staring at the tennis courts below. Some things would never change.

"W-what did you want to talk to me about?" Sakuno asked as Ryoma tore his eyes away from the courts to face her.

"It's stupid," Ryoma said and then launched into an explanation.

It went something like this: He had gotten into an argument with his 'stupid father'. The old man had demanded to know when Ryoma would be getting a girlfriend and Ryoma had insisted that tennis was much more important than that. And, through a series of events that Sakuno didn't understand, Ryoma had been challenged to find a girlfriend and he couldn't turn down the challenge because otherwise his father wouldn't play tennis with him anymore.

"So now I need to find my one true love," Ryoma said, "whatever one of those is."

"Couldn't you ask someone to pretend to be your girlfriend?" Sakuno asked, turning red at the implication. She's read many a shojo manga where the main couple pretended to date first before realising their true feelings for one another.

Ryoma shrugged, "if I'm gonna do this I'm gonna do it right."

Sakuno nodded, willing herself to stop blushing. If he didn't want to fake date then maybe he wanted to date for real.

"You know about stuff like romance right?" Ryoma asked and Sakuno nodded again, wondering where he was going. "Good, could you help me find someone?"

"S-sure," Sakuno replied.

"Thank you," Ryoma said, smiling. Sakuno's heart skipped a beat.


	2. Chapter 2

"What does love feel like?" Ryoma asked.

They were sat at Sakuno's kitchen table (Sakuno's mother had forbidden them to go up to her room and Ryoma had flat out refused to take her back to his place) surrounded by Sakuno's collection of shojo manga.

"Um…. well, your heart starts racing when you see the -um- person you like and you're-you're face feels hot and goes all red and i-it's really hard to look at them, but you can't turn away…. at least that's what it says in manga," Sakuno finished lamely.

Her heart clenched in worry for a second. What if Ryoma recognised that she hadn't just seen them in manga, that she felt them whenever her was near. But Ryoma remained as oblivious as ever even as he flicked disinterestedly through a volume of a manga where the main character was utterly in love with a boy who was far more interested in baseball than her.

Sakuno had once confided in her mother her crush on Ryoma -although she hadn't used names less it reach the ears of her grandmother and, therefore, the rest of the Seigaku regulars. If it reached them she may as well walk around the school with a 10 foot sign reading 'I have a crush on Echizen Ryoma' in flashing multicoloured letters above her head. She doubt Ryoma would even notice that- not unless it had tennis balls drawn on it.

"No one makes me do that," Ryoma said. "It sounds like an illness or something."

Sakuno nodded, "I-It is a bit… You could grow into loving someone," she told him. "Like, in this one," she extracted a book from the pile and held it up, "the couple hate each other at the start?"

"What's the point in that?"

"Eh?"

"It sounds exhausting," Ryoma muttered.

"I-Is there anyone you can't help arguing with?" Sakuno tried.

"The Monkey King. I'd rather die than ask him out!"

This was clearly the wrong route to take. "Then maybe you should date someone you don't know," she said quickly. "What type of person d-do you imagine dating?" Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure it was about to explode out of her chest.

Ryoma looked thoughtful for a moment. "Someone good at tennis."

Sakuno couldn't help but sigh- she should have seen that one coming. "Anything else."

Ryoma shrugged, "I've never thought about it."

Sakuno pulled across her notepad -spotting that Ryoma had drawn a cat in the corner- and wrote 'good at tennis' and underlined it.

"W-What about the girls' tennis team?" Sakuno suggested.

It wasn't that self-serving, she told herself. She was in the team, not on the regulars yet, but she was much better at tennis that she had been back in middle school. This was the perfect opportunity to catch Ryoma's eye!

* * *

It was tricky getting Ryoma to practice. He has his own practices and always got pulled away afterwards by Momoshiro and Kikumaru, who wanted to make up for the past two years without their first year to fuss over and tease.

It was looking more and more like Ryoma was going to have to skip one of his own practices and sneak over to the girls' courts without being seen, something that would likely be impossible as the courts were practically next to each other.

"I can't sneak away tomorrow either," Ryoma said at lunch after many failed attempts, "Tezuka-buchou's promised to play with me."

Sakuno nodded, her heart sinking. There was another alternative, the first girls' tournament was the coming Saturday, but she wasn't going to be playing in it. taking any chance of impressing Ryoma with her tennis skills completely out of the equation. What if she took Ryoma there and he found the love of his life without here even throwing her hat into the ring?

But, obviously the lure of playing against Tezuka was too much for Ryoma to overcome.

"Y-You could come to our tournament this weekend," she offered, "i-if you're not busy, I mean."

"I'm free."

"I won't be playing but, um…" she trailed off, not quite knowing what to add next. Ideally, she'd like it to be a date. That Ryoma would suddenly realise her feelings for him and that he reciprocated them. There was still hope.

"That's fine, you can tell me who they all are."

And so, that Saturday, Sakuno put on her cutest dress (light blue with little pink flowers on it) and -because it was a 'date' with Ryoma,- packed her tennis gear into her racquet bag. It didn't go with her dress, but it was best to be prepared.

Ryoma wasn't there when she arrived at their designated meeting place and she waited almost 15 minutes before he came slouching over, dressed in baggy shorts and a hoodie, his racquet bag -naturally- slung over his shoulder.

"Yo," he said by means of an apology. "I thought you weren't playing," he said when he noticed Sakuno's racquet bag.

"You never know when a-a match might happen," Sakuno replied, feeling emboldened when Ryoma grinned.

"You're learning, Ryuzaki."

* * *

They didn't talk much through the games- Ryoma was too focused on the tennis to talk much, somehow being able to read the players' personalities from their serves and shots.

"What do you think so far?" Sakuno asked just before the last match. Seigaku were tied 2 games all with their opponents and it was time for the captains to duke it out.

"Not those two doubles players."

"W-Why not?" In Sakuno's opinion, Anami and Nagasawa were both lovely girls with great tennis skills.

Ryoma gave her a look. "They're like Oishi and Kikumaru."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Ryoma shrugged, his eyes focused on Takamura-Buchou as she walked onto the court.

The knot in Sakuno's stomach tightened. Takamura-Buchou was so strong at tennis that of course Ryoma would be interested. She was also beautiful with long, flowing black hair tied back in a ponytail and sharp, intelligent eyes. She was outspoken and brave and everything Sakuno wished she could be.

Takamura chose to serve first and shot an ace so fast and accurate that her opponent could only stumble towards it as it his the baseline.

Sakuno groaned inwardly: They'd just found Ryoma's perfect match.

Takamura completely dominated the match and Ryoma didn't take his eyes of her once. At the end of the match, Ryoma got to his feet.

"W-Where are you going?"

"To ask her for a match."


	3. Chapter 3

Sakuno watched with amazed horror as Ryoma sauntered down the bleachers towards the group of celebrating girls.

He wasn't going to do this, right? Takamura wasn't going to accept? She'd just played a match!

She hurried after Ryoma, wanting to stop him but with no clue how to.

"You're one of Tezuka's?" Takamura was asking when Sakuno caught up with Ryoma.

"Yeah," Ryoma replied. "Play a match with me."

Takamura looked taken aback for a second and then laughed. "I've just played a match and me and my team are about to go out celebrating, why would I want to play with you?"

"Because I'm good," Ryoma replied smugly.

Takamura looked him up and down, sizing him up. The rest of the team had stopped jumping around and were watching the pair of them with interest.

"Sacchan, are you coming?" Ashia, the vice captain of the team, asked, putting a hand on Takamura's shoulder.

"You're not going to leave me alone till you play me," Takamura said to Ryoma, it wasn't a question- clearly she knew Ryoma's type. Ryoma just smirked. "One game, then I'm going to celebrate."

"Fine," Ryoma shrugged, pulling off his jacket and throwing it to Sakuno, who just managed to catch it.

Takamura shot her a questioning look and Sakuno felt her cheeks turn red. She had no idea how much her captain knew about her feelings for Ryoma, she felt rather guilty hoping that she knew and would leave Ryoma for her.  
Sakuno sighed as the two players walked out onto the court. Ryoma had the clear advantage, having not just played a full on match. But she had a feeling this had more to do with tennis compatibility or whatever than actual competition. This was Ryoma though and he could not be going easy on Takamura just because she'd played a match before.

Takamura won the toss and chose to serve first. Ryoma sprung to get her first serve, connecting with it, but sending it out.

"Ryuzaki, what's this about?" Nagasawa asked as Ryoma returned Takamura's next serve and they started to rally.

"Urm," Sakuno began, wondering how on earth she was meant to explain what actually was going on.

"That's Echizen, right?" Anami asked, "from the boys' team? Are you on a date?" She added, winking at Sakuno.

"N-No, we're just friends," Sakuno replied, clutching Echizen's jacket ever so slightly tighter. "He wanted to see our team play."

"And then challenge Sacchan?" Ashia asked, frowning. On the court, the score was 15-30 to Ryoma.

"That's just what Ryoma's like," Sakuno said, "he likes playing against strong tennis players."

"So does Sacchan," Anami sighed, turning her gaze back to the court. Takamura was shining as she returned shot after shot, a huge grin on her face. She was ahead now, the score at 40-30.

Sakuno felt her eyes being tugged to the other side of the court as if they were magnetically attracted to Ryoma.

As always he looked amazing as he charged around the court. Tennis always brought out the best in him and he was sparkling- although that might be Sakuno's imagination.

She wished she was as good at tennis as Takamura. She was good -she'd been in the regulars in her 3rd year of middle school- but she wasn't near this level yet. Not near the level to be able to make Ryoma light up like that. Her heart sank, it was going to be so much harder to get Ryoma to like her if she couldn't match him in tennis. And no mater how hard she tried, how much she practiced, Ryoma would always be pulling ahead, putting miles between them.

But… but -it was such a deceptively small word, one that brought back some hope- but tennis wasn't everything. Surely it could be overcome by love!

On court, that match had ended and Ryoma and Takamura were shaking hands. Sakuno shook herself, she had completely zoned out and had missed who had won.

She looked to the regulars who didn't look too happy -Ryoma must have won.

"Can we celebrate now?" Nagasawa called to Takamura, who laughed and gave her a thumbs up.

"See you at practice," Anami said to Sakuno as the rest of the team picked up their things and began to head out.

Sakuno wasn't sure what to say as Ryoma sauntered over to her, looking distractedly at his hand. 'How did it go?' sounded wrong somehow and she wasn't entirely sure what Ryoma wa slooking for in the first place.

"Ice cream?" Ryoma asked, throwing Sakuno from her worrying.

"W-What?"

"Ice cream. Do you want some?"

"Yes?"

"Good. Come on."

Sakuno fell into step with him, she still wanted to say something. Anything. And the longer she stayed silent the harder it was going to be. Ryoma was still distracted, looking at his left hand, occasionally flexing it.

A horrible thought lodged itself in her mind, shocking her out of silence. "Are you hurt?!"

Ryoma's eyes widened. "No, I'm fine."

"Oh. You were just looking at your hand so…" Sakuno trailed off, her face heating up.

"It just felt… I dunno," Ryoma shrugged, "Not right, I guess."

"What did?"

Ryoma sighed, "let's get ice cream."

Later, they were sat on a bench in the park, each holding an ice cream.

"What did you mean earlier?" Sakuno asked.

"Does it feel different for you when you play different people?"

"Everyone has different playing styles," Sakuno replied, unsure of where this was going.

"Yes, but not like that," Ryoma said, "it's like you can feel their true selves through their tennis."

Sakuno nodded, not getting it. But Ryoma was -and always had been- a bit weird, especially when it came to tennis. "So, you couldn't feel what Takamura is like?"

"No, I could," Ryoma replied, "but I had an idea of what it would feel like to play against someone I wanted to date and… Takamura was good but it didn't feel right." He looked a bit dejected.

"This is only the first person," Sakuno said, "there are lots of others out there."

"Yeah," Ryoma said, "no point in giving up after one failure."

Sakuno nodded and licked at her ice cream. She shouldn't be feeling so happy that their first attempt had failed, but she couldn't help it.

A phone beeped and Ryoma pulled it out of his pocket.

"Did you know Tezuka can use a phone?" Ryoma asked. "And email. He messaged me once a week whilst I was in America."

"That's…" Sakuno started, then laughed, "I can't really imagine Tezuka using a computer."

"I always imagined him using one finger hitting at the keyboard," Ryoma said. "They were long emails too!"

Sakuno giggled, "I feel bad laughing at him."

"Don't," Ryoma reassured her. "Fuji hacked into his emails last week and has been teasing Tezuka about it at every opportunity. Us laughing about it is nothing."

"I feel really bad for him now."

Ryoma shrugged, "Fuji does stuff like this all the time, we're used to it." He opened the message from Tezuka and quickly read it. "He's asking for a match," he said, all dejection flooding from him to be replaced by the sparkling quality he always gained when tennis was involved.

"Now?"

"Yeah, do you mind?"

It would be really suspicious to say that she did mind and that she wanted to hang out all afternoon, so she replied, "it's fine, I'll see you at school on monday."

"Yes, see you then," Ryoma said, grabbing his things and getting to his feet.

Sakuno watched him go whistfully and then turned back to her ice cream.

Why couldn't she have been brave and emailed Ryoma every week for two years? She wondered what they'd talked about. Tennis probably.

She was walking home when her phone buzzed. She pulled it out, heart fluttering in anticipation of a text from Ryoma.

It sank a little when she saw it was from Tomo-chan. Then she felt bad, Tomo-chan was her best friend, she should be happy to hear from her!

The message itself read:

We need to talk. Come to mine.

It sounded ominous. She sighed and phoned here mum to let her know that she'd be home late and then set off to Tomo-chan's.

Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Ryoma's world was turned upside down.


	4. Chapter 4

Sakuno barely had time to say hello to Tomo-chan's mother before she was dragged upstairs by her best friend.

"T-Tomo-chan!" Sakuno protested as she stumbled over to the bed and flopped down. "What's wrong?"

Tomo-chan squared on her, hands on her hips. "Why didn't you tell me that you're dating Ryoma-sama?!"

"E-Eh?"

"Inui-senpai texted me earlier and said you were on a date with him!"

"I wasn't," Sakuno squeaked, "we were just watching a tennis match together."

"You don't have to lie!"

"I'm no-"

"I'm just upset you didn't tell me first! Why did you try and hide it from me?"

"I-"

"I mean, it was always obvious it would be you who dated him, not me. When we were in middle school I'd have gotten mad, but I'm an adult now and-"

"Tomo-chan!"

"Yes?"

"We're not dating!"

"But-"

"We just went to see some tennis together."

"It's Ryoma-sama though, he wouldn't do normal date things."

"He did play a tennis match-"

"Did you win?"

"He played against Takamura-buchou… not me," Sakuno added quietly.

"Oh, but-"

"Tomo-chan, I would tell you if we were dating," Sakuno snapped, then turned red and muttered, "sorry."

Tomo-chan looked rather deflated, "Inui-senpai seemed so sure though and I was happy because you've liked Ryoma-sama forever."

"When he left for America you told me to stop moping over him," Sakuno felt a bit bad for that, but it had hurt when Tomo-chan had said it. "I don't think Ryoma's noticed I like him though," she sighed, "or he doesn't care."

But Ryoma wasn't unnecessarily mean, he wouldn't lead her on if he knew that she liked him.

This didn't seem to damped Tomo-chan's hopes though.

"You're hanging out with him though," she said, sitting next to Sakuno on the bed, "you can get close to him and then he'll fall in love with you!"

"Yeah…" Sakuno agreed non-comitantly, a know growing in her stomach.

Maybe it could happen. All she had to do was be herself and be helpful and understanding and Ryoma could fall for her.

"Friends to lovers is the cutest!" Tomo-chan sighed happily, "it's so romantic…."

"It is," Sakuno agreed, her head lost in fantasies about Ryoma coming to realise his feelings for her.

"How did you end up hanging out?" Tomo-chan asked almost dreamily.

"He needs a girlfriend," Sakuno explained. She couldn't remember why, something about his dad.

Tomo-chan snapped out of her dreamland. "That's perfect!"

"I did suggest fake-dating, but he wants to find true love."

"You could be his true love!" Tomo-chan practically squealed, "we've just got to make him see it!"

"How?"

Tomo-chan thought for a while, "Put on the cutest outfit you have and go and visit him out the blue! He'll be so surprised by how happy he is to see you that he'll realise he's completely in love with you!"

Sakuno looked down at her clothes, "this is my cutest outfit."

Tomo-chan looked her up and down critically, "it's cute, but it lacks sex appeal."

"S-s-s-sex appeal?!" Sakuno squeaked.

"Yeah! We'll have to go shopping though… After school tomorrow? Are you free then?"

Sakuno nodded dumbly, her brain unable to get over 'sex appeal'. She was not going to be able to look at Ryoma at school tomorrow without turning red.

* * *

But Ryoma wasn't at school the next day.

Sakuno was quite relieved, having spent the previous night worrying about what she was going to be dressed in and having horrendous visions of turning up on Ryoma's doorstep in a bikini.

Tomo-chan felt Ryoma's absence was a bonus as, in her words, "you can nurse him back to health!"

Sakuno wasn't so sure about that and now had to worry about Tomo-chan forcing her into a nurses outfit.

"Sakuno!" Horio shouted, snapping her head out of the clouds. "Tezuka-buchou wants to talk to you."

"Me?"

"Yeah, dunno why."

Sakuno got to her feet and wlaked to the door where Tezuka was waiting for her.

"Have you see Echizen?" Tezuka asked.

Sakuno shook her head, "I think he's ill."

"He left our match very quickly," Tezuka said, "I thought he might be avoiding me," he admitted.

Sakuno nodded, suddenly feeling very awkward. Was Ryoma ill? Or was he trying to avoid Tezuka for some reason?

"I'm going to visit him later," Sakuno said, "to take over homework," she added quickly. "I'll tell him you were asking after him."

"Thank you," Tezuka said, inclining his head and walking away.

"What did he want?" Tomo-chan asked when Sakuno came back into the classroom.

"He wanted to know if Ryoma was is," Sakuno replied, "he thinks he might be avoiding him."

"Why would Ryoma-sama be avoiding Tezuka?"

"I don't know," Sakuno sighed. "He's probably just ill."

"He'll feel better once he sees you in your new sexy outfit," Tomo-chan said slyly and Sakuno wished she could melt into the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

After a quick visit home to change, Sakuno headed over to Ryoma's. She's bought the dress on a whim whilst out shopping with Tomo-chan a few weeks ago. It was frilly and floofy and pastel pink and purple and veryvery cute.

She took a deep breath and made her way through the gate. She wasn't sure what she had expected, but Ryoma's house looked normal. Ryoma had kicked up such a fuss about not using his house for their planning sessions that she'd half expected a falling down shack.

She knocked on the door and waited. From inside there was a bit of muffled shouting and then the door slid open to reveal a disheveled looking man in monk's clothing.

He had to be Ryoma's father. There was absolutely no doubt that Ryoma had got a lot of his looks from him.

He unashamedly looked her up and down and grinned. "Are you the kid's girlfriend?"

Sakuno blushed and shook her head. "We're friends. I'm bringing his homework," she babbled, willing herself to calm down.

Ryoma's dad winked at her. "He's still sick in bed, but seeing you will perk him right up."

Sakuno followed him numbly up the stairs to what she assumed must be Ryoma's room.

"Ryoma!" his dad yelled as he banged on the door, "a cute highschool girl is here to see you!"

Without waiting for a reply, he thrust the door open revealing a mortified looking Ryoma sat in bed, hugging a large, fluffy cat.

"I'm ill," he huffed.

"Lucky for you, this cutie has come to nurse you back to health," Ryoma's dad pushed Sakuno into the room. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he added with a wink before slamming the door shut.

"I won't, you stupid old man!" Ryoma shouted after him. "Sorry about him," he muttered to Sakuno, not looking her in the eye.

"It's okay," Sakuno replied, her face still bright red. She found it much easier to look at the cat rather than directly at Ryoma. "How are you feeling?"

Ryoma shrugged, "I've been better. This is Karupin," he said, pointing at the cat.

"He's very cute."

"Yeah…. There's a seat over there if you want to sit down," Ryoma said, motioning towards the chair at his desk.

As Sakuno took a seat, Karupin leaped off the bed and trotted over to her to rub his head against her legs, mewing.

"Tezuka-buchou asked after you at lunch," Sakuno said, at a loss for what else to say. She was thoroughly aware that she was alone with a boy in a boy's bedroom and that the only parental figure in the house would probably be disappointed if nothing happened up here.

Ryoma blanched and looked down as his duvet covered knees. "Oh."

"He said that he thinks you're avoiding him," Sakuno said, starting with a laugh, but stopping immediately when she saw Ryoma's face. "Sorry."

"I ran away from our match," Ryoma muttered, "it was stupid but it was all I could do."

Sakuno nodded. What was going on? What had happened to make Ryoma run away from a tennis match?

Karupin leaped onto her lap and looked up at her with big blue eyes. Sakuno pet his head gently, His fur was so soft.

"Why did you run away?" She asked quietly, hating herself but feeling as if it were the right thing to do. If Ryoma was hiding then the only way he'd recover would be to face whatever had happened to him.

"You can't tell anyone,"Ryoma replied, "not even Tomoka!"

"Okay," Sakuno promised, feeling miffed that Ryoma was calling Tomo-chan by her first name but insisted on calling her 'Ryuzaki.'

"I was playing with Tezuka," Ryoma started, "and thinking about the match with your captain and realised that when I play Tezuka I feel… I feel what I thought it would feel like. It feels right. He put his head in his hands and carried on, his voice muffled but each word stabbing Sakuno's heart with ice. "I looked at him and my heart started to beat weird and my palms got sweaty."

Sakuno wanted to scream for him to stop. She knew where this had to be going and did not want to hear it. It was all far too much, but she couldn't stop listening, her heart breaking with every word.

"I wanted to kiss him," Ryoma finished. "So I ran away."

"If you'd stayed you would have kissed him?" Sakuno asked numbly. She couldn't be here right now. This was hurting too much.

"If he found out he'd hate me," Ryoma said. "I don't want him to hate me."

If it were me I wouldn't hate you, Sakuno wanted to say, I would never hate you!

But this wasn't the same. Could never be the same. If she was dating Ryoma there would be friendly teasing…. but Ryoma and Tezuka-buchou….

She didn't want to think about it! Didn't want to think about any of it! It just hurt so much! What was she supposed to say? She just wanted to run away.

Ryoma was still looking morosely at his bed sheets, looking as if he'd been diagnosed with some terminal illness.

"I should have guessed with dad's stupid magazines," Ryoma muttered. "I keep pretending it's not real, but it explains so much about me."

"I have to go," Sakuno said, standing up so suddenly that Karupin slipped off and scarpered under the bed, yowling.

She didn't remember much after that, somewhere on the journey home her phone buzzed. She pulled it out to see she had two messages, one from Tomo-chan and one from Ryoma.

She opened Tomo-chan's and wished she hadn't.

 _How did it go? Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ Does he love you now? ლζ* ε *ζლ_

She sped up, barely keeping her tears at bay. When she got home she went straight to her room and cried her eyes out into her pillow.

* * *

"I can't do this Karu," Ryoma said as his cat leaped lightly back onto the bed and rubbed his head affectionately against Ryoma's.

"Everyone's going to hate me."

Karupin mewed and Ryoma gathered him into his arms.

"At least I've got you."


	6. Chapter 6

Ryoma didn't show up to school for several more days.

Sakuno kept insisting he was ill, a small part of her soul dying every time she did so. There were so many people who would call being gay an 'illness' and Sakuno refused to be one of them. Ryoma may have accidentally broken her heart, but he was still her friend.

She knew she should help him, that if he wasn't coming to school he must be really in pain, but she just couldn't face him. She still hadn't opened the message from him- the little icon staring at her accusingly every time she opened her phone. She couldn't even think about Ryoma without being in pain.

It was so stupid and selfish!

Apparently, the Seigaku regulars had gone to visit Ryoma and he'd refused to see them, insisting that he had something horribly contagious. She was sure most of the team didn't believe him, especially not Fuji, who kept giving her curious looks every time they saw each other.

Her only outlet for her pain was tennis, which she threw herself into, exorcising her bitterness with every stroke.

It's not Ryoma's fault that he's gay, she told herself firmly as she slammed a ball against a wall. It's better this way than confessing and being rejected… or him accepting because 'that's what you do'.

It still hurt though, the fact that she now had to give up completely. Maybe it would have been better to be rejected outright.

Tennis helped, but not completely.

It was a less bitter pain though, one that was her problem, not Ryoma's.

She thought the heart crushing pain would intensify when Ryoma came back to school, but when she walked into the classroom to find Ryoma sat at his desk gazing unfocusedly at the board, it was relief, not pain, that bloomed inside her.

"You're early," she tried to joke. If Ryoma was here early it meant he'd skipped morning practice.

"Morning' Ryuuzaki," Ryoma replied, glancing at her.

"Sakuno," she said firmly.

"Ryuuzaki sounds cooler," Ryoma muttered, his cheeks turning a bit pink.

Sakuno smiled, at least Ryoma was back to normal.

As the day went on, it became obvious just now 'not fine' Ryoma was. He was much more closed off, avoiding all eye contact and rarely offering any input in conversations, not even to input a 'mada mada dane'.

Quite frankly, Sakuno thought as she warmed up, seeing Ryoma like this hurt far more than being rejected by him.

On her way home, she pulled her phone out and stared at the '1 new message' icon. She took a deep breath and opened it.

 _thank your for your help and sorry_

Sorry? Sorry? Sorry for what? Did he know that he'd broken her heart? Was he going to give up? How dare he give up! They just needed to change 'girlfriend' to 'boyfriend'! If he wanted to date Tezuka-buchou then they were damn well going to go on a date!

Fired up, she messaged back, telling him them the address of the nearest tennis court and to meet her there now. Then, she messaged her mother letting her know she'd be late for dinner.

She was going to tell Ryoma her true feelings. All of them. In the way he'd understand the best.


	7. Chapter 7

Sakuno stood on the court, trying to stop the anger seeping away.

We're not giving up. Not now, she told herself firmly.

Finally, at least 20 minutes later, Ryoma arrived, looking tired and distracted.

"You want to play a match?" he asked when he saw her dressed in her tennis gear.

"Yes," Sakuno replied, clenching her fists.

Ryoma nodded and took his place at the other side of the court. There was something wrong, normally Ryoma shone when he was about to play tennis- shone with the anticipation of the match to come. But there was nothing.  
Ryoma's first serve sliced past her with a speed she'd never experienced before. She knew there was a massive gap in their skill level, but it was only now that she realised quite how big it was.

She managed to touch Ryoma's next serve and knock it slightly off its path. It was still in by a large margin.

This was hopeless. If she couldn't return his shots, how could she ever communicate with him through tennis?

Maybe if she was playing Ryoma from back in middle school she could have stood a chance. But since he regained his passion for tennis Ryoma had improved tenfold.

This game, it seemed, was hopeless. But it was Sakuno's serve next.

She psyched herself up and sent her best serve over the net. Ryoma caught it easily and sent it back, but Sakuno was ready, hitting it with as much force as she could.

Ryoma hit the net.

"Yes!" Sakuno cheered. She'd scored a point. She could do this!

Ryoma didn't look impressed, in fact he just looked she was going to draw Ryoma out of himself she would have to make the game enjoyable. She was never going to be able to give a game as good as Ryoma could get from someone like Tezuka, all she could do was give it her best.

She also needed to communicate her feelings to him. She had no idea how to do that. It seemed natural to Ryoma, as though tennis opened some kind of telepathic link. But she didn't know how to open the link, had never had the need too.

She flung herself across the court to return Ryoma's serve and ended up face down on the court, the ball bounced insultingly in front of her.

"Are you done yet?" Ryoma asked, exasperated. "I know what you're trying to do and you suck at tennis."

"I don't suck at tennis!" Sakuno snapped before she could stop herself, "not everyone can be you!"

Ryoma made a noncommittal noise and stalked off to put his racket away.

"Don't!" Sakuno cried, scrambling onto her feet and grabbing Ryoma's racket before he could slid it back into his bad. "I can't talk to you through tennis, so I'll have to do this the normal way."

Ryoma raised an eyebrow, a flash of his normal self back in his eyes. It gave Sakuno some hope.

"I don't care that you're gay," she said firmly.

"Yeah, you do," Ryoma replied, his eyes focused on the floor. "I saw your face when I told you."

The horror washed over Sakuno, pulling down her resolve and twisting her insides. How had she looked? Ryoma had just broken her heart, it couldn't have been a good expression. And, just to make everything worse, she'd run away.

"I was an idiot," she said softly. "I'm sorry. I hurt you. I'm so so sorry."

"Yeah. Well…" Ryoma trailed off, "it's fine, I guess."

"It's not! You're hurting and I can't do anything to help!"

"I don't want Tezuka to hate me," he muttered.

"He won't," Sakuno promised. "And if he does I'll… I'll," she racked he brain, "beat him up with tennis!"

The corners of Ryoma's lips twitched. "I'd like to see you try."


End file.
